down, but not out

mr.Tormentor is down on one knee, saying sorry, waiting for you to come back and give one chance to make up for lost time. please?

This came from the Glumster. "What do you call the calcium growth that is sometimes found in your nose?" Answer: A fingernail. Gihahahahaww...

A painting. By one master painter about another master artist.

in other news...

*click* …aur aap dekh rahe hain Sansani. App ne dekha ek ghar ki kahani jo durghatna mein khatam hui. Ab suniye ek rape ki darnkh kahani. Balaaltkaar!! Ha. Ek masoom ladki jisko... *click* ...and we’re here at Mumbai’s most happening nightspot, the night is still young and all the happening people are here, oh! Here’s this guy, hello sir! You look happy, tell me, how much would you pay to have a model’s clothes fall off on the ramp and… *click* vardaat! Jisme hum aapko dikhayenge k eek insaan apni hawas ki pyaas bujha ne keliye kitna gir sakta hai. Rajesh jisne… *click* and in our continuinf focus on alternate sexuality, we have with us a gay activist who feels that this woman-tuened-man is hotter than some of the women or men he’s met, lets ask him… *click* great offer! to buy the complete set of Tintin comics for less, visit ndtvshopping.com *click* aap dhoni ke hajaam rahe hain aap ko ab kaise lagta hai? Haan ji, mein dhoni ki cutting karta tha, pehlse se, unke ball thode wak hain lekin un zulfonka... *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* jhalak dikhlaaja, jhalak dikhlaaja, ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaaaja….jhalak dikhlaaaja........

Hmmm...

According to a CNN-IBN promo, Rajdeep Sardesai is the ‘face’ of Indian TV journalism. Hmmm…thought it was some other body part, like say, a particular orifice of the nether regions.

Rahul Gandhi says that if ‘the party and the senior leaders’ is willing he will take charge of UP. Hmmm…couldn’t he have just said “please mommy, can i?”

The Dalai Lama is out to improve Islam’s image. Hmmm….very commendable, but has responsibilities of being the ‘world leader’ finally started taking precedence over the responsibilities of freeing Tibet?

find the truth in screen

What is a restless sole called? What is intuation? What are Manking? Have you ever taken a Fiancy? Find out, and also read about Pooja’s dead bodies in the synopsis of this storeys – The mot shattaring thrill.

In a politically correct world, plagiarism becomes "inappropriate similarities". How bad. So sad.

V for Validation

Further to the sentiments expressed in this post, which agreed in principle and in fact with Alan Moore who'd washed his hands off the movie V for Vaanthi, here is Alan Moore agreeing in retrospective and in fact about all the other travesties that we have enjoyed in the past. Watch.

where are the answers?

The Narmada is back in the news. Why? Is the NBA against all the dams that will be built across the Narmada? Or are they against the Sardar Sarovar Dam in particular? If the flashpoint was reached when the height of the dam was increased in keeping with the judgement, are they fighting against the raising of the dam height? Would the people of the NBA be happy and pests like Arundhati Roy go away if the height of the dam was not raised? Or do they want the dam work to stop in toto? Why has it suddenly become a Gujarat thing? Aren’t Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Maharashtra a part of this project as well? Well, all 4 states have been asked to submit status reports on rehabilitation, but why does Nafisa Ali, she who is on the NBA’s side, make it look like a Gujarat thing, or in particular an anti-Modi thing? Or is it a fight for proper rehabilitation? The picture is so hazy that the Supreme Court judge himself asked the NBA lawyer, “Is it a case of inadequate rehabilitation or no rehabilitation?”. Replied the NBA lawyer (who is either ignorant, lazy, or just can’t understand English), and this to the judge, “Read the Ministerial report. It is comprehensive enough.” Thus dodging the questions. So what is about? As concerned citizens, how do we make up our minds if we don’t get to read “ministerial reports”? If the dam is going to benefit millions of people, across 4 states, why has nobody yet raised the issue about the pros being more than the cons? All the focus is on the harmful effects of the dam, so who will take the side of the beneficiaries and speak on their behalf? Why is the beneficial aspect, if any, not highlighted? Why do we only get to hear Aamir Khan, Rahul Bose, Arundhati Roy give great sound bytes? Why is there not a single interview with the people who will actually be affected? And affected by the dam also includes those whose lives will be better right? Why is Medha Patkar going on a fast against whatever, right and why is Modi going on a fast for whatever, wrong? Or is it the other way round? Both sides interpreted yesterday’s judgment as a victory, so who is right? Where does the truth lie? What are the facts? How do we make up our minds? Who do we ask? We being the concerned citizens, yes, but informed citizens? Dammit.

waiting for virgin

The little boy had waited for the new set of Gothams to come. Months later he gave up. Now he waits for the time when he can go his friendly book seller and ask, “Have the Virgins come yet?”

Goodbye, elder brother.

Dr.Rajkumar. That doyen of Kannada cinema. Nata Sarvabhauma. Gaana Gandharva. Kannada cinema’s Dhruva Tare. Kannadigara Kanmani. Annavru. We can go on have a Dr.Raj sahasranama, and it would still be not enough. Respected in life, and insulted in death.

Dr.Raj. Bekadare avaru, karnatakada rajare aagabahudagittu. Aadare, avaru Rajana sthana bedayendu, sadaa Rajakumara aagiye ulidaru. That more or less sums up the man. In English it means, “If he wanted, he could have been the Raja (king) of Karnataka, but he chose to always remain a Rajakumara (prince).” A direct reference to Dr.Raj’s refusal to join politics, much like his contemporaries MGR or NTR had done. His calling was the arts he said. And he was a fine actor. And a fine singer. He also could’ve have gone over to Tamil cinema, but he chose to stay with Kannada, for which he’d said that he would do anything.

1982. The Gokak Movement. Kuvempu, Masti refused to join in. But Rajkumar when informed, joined in with all his heart and soul. “I am ready for any sacrifice for the sake of Kannada land and language,” he declared. And it was only then that this campaign went beyond just an agitation and truly became a ‘people’s movement’. That was the power of Dr.Raj. Till the end, he remained a humble man, epitomising the universal values of humility and peace. And he remained true to Kannada.

Here is another interesting fact. Dr.Raj began his film career in 1954, at a time when Karnataka as a state did not exist. It was only in 1956 that the state of Karnataka was formed, by which time, Dr.Raj had already endeared himself to Kannadigas everywhere. So in effect he was the first cultural icon of Karnataka. And as Karnataka went from strength to strength in the coming decades, so did Dr.Raj. And it was only right that the celebration of his fifty years in Kannada cinema, was fortuitously delayed. Because the grand function that took place to mark 50 years in cinema came at a time when we were celebrating Suvarna Karnataka, or 50 years of Karnataka as a state.

Over the years, he came to embody the finest in Kannada culture and became a role model for all Kannadigas. He went beyond being just an actor. So much so that when he sang “Huttidare Kannadanadalli hutta beku” it became an anthem instantly, and seemed as if he had captured the feelings of millions of Kannadigas into that one song. And it is for this reason that he was Annavru. Translating this word into ‘elder brother’ does not even begin to do justice to the word Annavaru, and the emotions that came with it when we called him that. His charm and the emotions he evokes goes beyond mere acting or singing.

And then age took over, and he died, to the sorrow of millions of us fans and admirers. Death comes to us all, but what happened next in this case is exceptional and shameful. We could go into many theories and detours and the many dimensions about what came to pass. But that is for another day, when the fog lifts.

But Annavre, the people who threw stones and burnt busses were not your fans. And you know that. They are not the abhimanidevaru whom you so respected and loved. But still Annavre, on the behalf of all of us fans and admirers, apologise for the way we behaved and insulted your name and your memory. Your last journey was anything but dignified, and you deserved more than that. And those of us who live on will have to live with that shame for the rest of our lives. As for me, that one last glimpse of you that i got was worth all the lathi-charge and the tear gas that came my way.

But you know who your true fans are. You started your career with Bedara Kannappa, and brought tears to many eyes, when in the film you offered your eyes to Lord Shiva. Even in death, you did good by giving sight to two people by donating your eyes. And inspired by that, many members of your many Abhimani Sanghas have donated their eyes. And these are your true fans, and the ones that will do you and your memory proud. Even in death you were a role model.

One last thing Annavre, you sang in that anthem ‘huttidare kannadanaadalli huttabeku,
“…Mundina nanna januma
Baraditta nanthe Brahma
Illiye, illiye…
Yendigoo naa illiye…”

And I will hold you to your words. And I know you sang true. You will come back. Dr.Raj is dead. Long live Annavru. Yendendigoo neevu illiye. You will remain forever in our hearts and minds.

d.o.a.

We begin our slow crawl to death the second we are born. Maybe that’s why we come into the world crying. Some primal instinct that lets us know that the shadow of death follows in our every footstep. We’re Dead On Arrival. Each of us has come into this world with a fixed stock of years to live, or exist, as the case may be. Every year we live, we exhaust it from our supply of time left. And what better way to celebrate this than on one’s birthday. Where we wish each other, splurge on parties…and in some subliminal way living the illusion that we will live forever. Birthdays become a celebration of life. When in fact they are moments for mourning. For our time is fast approaching. Birthdays are reminders that one more year has passed. You’re older. And hopefully, wiser. And that’s a good enough reason, one hopes, to celebrate. If not for anything, for having made it to one more birthday…without dying.

Breathe. Breathe in the air. Don’t be afraid. Breathe. And now you’re shorter of breath, and one breath closer to death. (with due apologies to pink)

Testosterone art

Art seems to be going the metal way. Or is it the other way round? Testosterone Art? Never knew it existed. But sub-genres are always welcome eh? Like in metal, some of which include (just append the word ‘metal’ to every word)…Heavy, Classic, Thrash, Nu, Death, Black, Christian, Hair, Power, Progressive, Industrial, Melodic Death, Grindcore, Goregrind, Noisecore, Pronogrind, Metalcore, Gore, Doom, Gothic, Folk, Melodic, Epic, Symphonic, Ambient, Brutal, Viking...and still counting. Contributions welcome. Sorry, A Chunk Of Iron does not qualify as metal in this context. And no, Jethro Tull is not a metal band, even if Mister Anderson insists on playing a metal instrument.

And speaking of Testosterone Art, go here for the world’s oldest example of teen graffiti. Just shows, boys will be boys, and always barbarians.

gets into eeks!mode

This guy here. He writes so well, you’d have thought he was a writer. He thinks so well. You'd have thought he was a thinker. But no, he calls himself a graphic designer. George Supreeth. World famous in Bangalore. Well, almost. And he debases himself by saying, he’s into advertising. Technically yes, but not 'advertising' as i see it. George. Nice guy. Trained martial artist. Hellboy fan. Jesus impersonator. Comics freak. Thinks he's funny. Graphic designer. Those of you who may have marvelled at the interiors of the WorldSpace showroom on Brigade Road, know that it was George at work. His blogger profile makes for interesting reading. So while he’s a supreeth, he’s also prolific as you can read. Very modest he is, no? Then drill down to nibtitude and look at his sketches and his comic and finally amble down to Ixmod for some interesting, though-provoking reads. What's Ixmod? Ixmod is George's Bangalore-based design collective. Huh? Ok. In their own words, IXMOD stands for Integrated Experience Modeling, a design process which accounts for all the experiential aspects of your brand. Huh? Figure it out for yourself at Ixmod, the website, and see why these words actually mean something, and why our man here (shown below in an awesome self portrait [taken from nibtitude]) is so good. Or vice versa. Or nothing. eeks!

V for Vattay Vaste

Halfway through the V for Vachowski movie, this not-so-whispered conversation was overheard from the group behind us:
“Dai, do you know who wrote this story?”
“No, Who?”
“Ah! The Tchaikovski Brothers!”
“Oh really?!”

Yes, in as many words. Just sums up the kind of people who think that V for Vacuity is a great movie. And the kind of people that V for Vacuum in their head newspaper reviewers seem to targeting by giving super Star status to V for Vapid. But let’s say you do manage to get it out of your head that V for Vandalised was based on a graphic novel called V for Vendetta, even then, even as a movie, V for Vomitus is a vasted effort and time. And as the credits rolled in after the endless torment that was V for Veak and as as I was V for Vailing, this appeared “Based on the graphic novel illustrated by David Lloyd.” That says it all. No Moore. And yes, the word ‘based’ that is the keyword.

Just goes to show that great books should be left to themselves, and should be read and imagined, not seen. Comics fall through the cracks, but still care must be taken. Great stories should be told, not shown. Unless of course you happen to be Shankar Nag. Which nobody is. So leave them books alone. V for Venting Spleen over. And just in case you thought the movie totally and completely killed V for Vendetta, i leave you with what V (the real V, the one in the book has to say about the movie and his treatment thereof):

V lives. Because ideas (and great stories) are not just bullet-proof, they're also hollywood-proof. V lives. Go. Read the book. And look out for this panel. Read. The truth will set you free.
Ave atque vale

A letter to Rajdeep 'Cosmopolitan' Sardesai

This is a letter that was sent to Rajdeep Sardesai, currently of CNN-IBN today. Of course, he was informed in the letter that it would be posted on theBekku. The only alteration is that Sardesai's blog post in question has been hyperlinked below and not in the letter.

Dear Mr. Sardesai,
Ref: Your blog post and your program State of Bangalore

I read your blog post on ibnlive Southern Discomfort, how you have a way with words, sir!) and I thank you for taking the time out to think of us poor third-class citizens you call South Indians. You say news channels by leaving out cities out in their coverage are “breeding a growing sense of resentment and even anger at being left out of the news hierarchy.” Let me clarify sir.

We neither feel no anger neither resentment at being ‘left out’ as you put it, especially if that channel happens to be CNN-IBN. We have our local channels that speak to us in our own language, thank you. Speaking for myself, I have ETV Kannada News and Udaya News to see what’s happening in Bangalore and Karnataka. And these channels (who you leave out when you say ‘news channels’) also report national news if you did not know it already. Likewise, I’m sure that the people of Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh, and Kerala have their Sun News, Asianets and ETV to keep them up to date with what’s happening in their backyard, their state, the world and everything in between. In some areas, much better than ‘news channels’ (by which you mean national, English news channels) ever can or hope to. And yes, if your version of news means hours spent discussing fashion weeks, I’m sure we can live without that. We do not, I repeat, we do not, need you to get all righteously guilty and sob over us folks south of the Vindhyas. I appreciate your concern though.

So it was in this context wasn’t it, Sir, as you say in your blog, that you did the Eye on Bangalore series. State of Bangalore programme in front of the Vidhana Soudha. Well, I was one of the viewers of the programme and I do think I will share my thoughts with you.

Bangalore you say is more ‘cosmopolitan’ than Kannadiga. Thank you sir. First insult. Why an insult? Here’s why. Going by your behaviour and your views (stated and implied) during the programme, your idea of cosmopolitan came across or rather your definition of ‘cosmopolitan’ was:
• do not rename Bangalore to Bengalooru
• people need not (or was it should not?) make an attempt to learn Kannada when they relocate to Bangalore
• bars and pubs should be kept open till morning, or even better, should not be closed at all.

Sir, you have perverted the idea of ‘cosmopolitan’ and by saying Bangalore is more ‘cosmopolitan’ than Kannadiga, you have just insulted all us Kannadigas. I took a look at your face when the poll results came out. When 74% of the respondents said that they supported the renaming of Bangalore, you were shocked weren’t you? So what did you do? Tried to say that this couldn’t be right and turned to the eminent panel of Bangaloreans you had assembled and asked them, almost saying, “C’mon this can’t be right?”. When a majority of them also said, yes they did, you played a masterstroke. Turned to the people in the carefully chosen audience and asked, “Is that what YOU want?” and before we could see or hear more, you cut away to something else. Clever editing or cheap manipulation. And here I was thinking that the poll was supposed to reflect what the people felt. I did not know that when you meant ‘people of Bangalore’ you meant those people who were sitting as your audience.

One more thing, it’s not funny when you invite people on stage as part of a panel and muck up their names. Arundhati Raja should be called Arundhati Raja. Not Arundati Roy (or rai or whatever).

By the way Mr. Sardesai, Bengalooru is pronounced Bengalooru, not Bung-galore. But then you wouldn’t know. You are cosmopolitan. Who considers that learning a native tongue is anti-cosmopolitan. That closing bars at 11 is anti-democracy. You wouldn’t understand. You say future lies in ‘localisation’ and even in the context of news, you will always report it in English. How can you even say ‘localisation’ when what you want to say is ‘cosmoplitan’? Please sir spare us.

And yes, you’re lucky our Chief Minister is such a nice man. And you could get away with how you treated him. If it was anybody else, sir, I’d rather not think about it. Ok. So he’s not as conversant as you are in English. You in the role of an arbiter should have taken that into account, and not treated him like you did. He may not have felt bad. But I did. Have you heard him talk in Kannada? He would’ve taken you apart. But then, you wouldn’t have anyone speaking in their native tongue in your ‘cosmopolitan’ channel now would you?

So that’s that for now, Mr. Sardesai. I could go on. But I have better things to do than spend more of my time on a lost cause. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours truly,
A proud Kannadiga,
Shenoy
Bengalooru, Karnataka, India.

PS: Again, a copy of this letter has also been posted on my blog at http://schrodingersbekku.blogspot.com

That was that then. The whole letter. Now, moving on to related news, my friend Jubin is of the opinion (and I agree) that CNN-IBN (and i paraphrase) manages the impossible task of being the worst of CNN and the very worst of NDTV. Couldn't have put it better meself. And by the way CNN could stand for Chicken Noodle News. Check out this blog, read the comments, and follow the links embedded in the main body.

Himesh, Himesh everywhere

Coming soon… Jai Mata Di! Let’s Rock! - The Himesh Reshammiya Tribute Album. A nod to the all-pervading presence and ubiquitousness of a man who seamlessly blends religion and rock-n-roll in a catchy all-exhorting slogan. And a way of us fans saying thanks to the man who gave such great classics like aashiq banaya aapne and made Tanushree sizzle to his beat. A fitting tribute to a man who made history by becoming the first music director ever to win the Filmfare Award for Best Playback Singer. By the way, if you haven’t picked up Aaapka suroor yet, what are you waiting for? Get it today. Ah! Yes, coming back….

A mammoth 2-CD pack, the Himesh Reshammiya Tribute Album will feature 4 great songs and 32 (yes, thirty two) great tracks. Total value for your money. Each great song will have eight versions – original edit, unplugged version, remix version, a mix of the remix, an instrumental version, an acapella version, a ringtone version and a dhoomph-dhoomph heavy bass play-it-loud-like-the-northies-when-cruising-down-brigade-road version.

Triskaidekophiliacs rejoice! Thanks for this cow. The album will also have a couple of Bonus Tracks – yet another version of the hit song - ‘Naam hai 13 13’ or for those who don’t think in Hindi ‘Naam hai tera tera’ and a new song ‘Cap ke neeche kya hai?” Look out for the music videos featuring Himesh Reshammiya on all music channels. News is that Emraan Hasmi has agreed to be in the video. So get ready for more Himesh Reshammiya. And rush to your nearest music store today and pick up Jai Mata Di! Let’s Rock! - The Himesh Reshammiya Tribute Album, and get a free Himesh Reshammiyya poster, Himesh Reshammiya T-shirt, a paste-on Himesh Reshammiya-style stubble. The whole Himesh Reshammiya kit. Cap not included.

And if you haven’t had enough of Himesh Reshammiya yet, here he is my favourite composer/singer/video star Himesh Reshammiya once more.

We wish you all the best sir. Jai Mata Di! Let’s Rock!

If you are of the kind that does not mind wasting your time in inconsequential causes, you might want to consider signing this.
Yours truly
Petitioner No. 49779

A continuum of absolutes

I am Shenoy. I am Shenoy’s son. I am Shenoy’s grandson. Shenoy was my great-grandfather. I will be Shenoy’s father. I am Shenoy. And I refuse to be the weak link.

And you thought human cultural existence is not a continuous nonspatial succession. It is…a continuum, but one in which the parts and portions are distinct and distinguishable from adjacent parts and portions. In their own time. We are the continuing. We shall be continued.

"...I’m coming home to my family
Where I can be strong
Be who I planned to be
Within me my ancestry
Givin’ me continuity........
......This is what my daddy told me
I wished he would hold me
A little more than he did
But he taught me my culture
And how to live positive
I never wanna shame
The blood in my veins and bring pain
to my sweet grandfather's face
in his resting place
I make haste to learn and not waste
everything my forefathers earned in tears
for my culture..."
from 1 Giant Leap's My Culture.

Makes you Think

Best American Weblog, Best Topical Weblog, Best Community Weblog, Best New Weblog AND Weblog of the Year : One blog won all this at this year's Weblog Awards: the 2006Bloggies. It's billed as an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard, and it's called PostSecret. These secrets can be anything and you should see some of the secrets that people send in. Makes you think. Frank Warren has also seleceted some of the "best secrets" and published it (other people's secrets which they shared with him) in a book. Makes you think. So, what secrets do you want to get off your chest? Ah yes, the postcard shown above by the way, you won't find on the blog. It's now in an online gallery. Makes you think.

Hmmmm....a collection of words which are often omitted from dictionaries, and are in danger of being eliminated from the English language. What! You must be joking, i actually know a few people who use these, half their vocabulary seems to come from The Grandiloquent Dictionary

batmanjokeralienpredator

Some have said it's the best Batman movie ever made. Just a rider, these comments were made before Batman:Begins came out. The best Batman movie ever made. No not Burton. But Sandy Collora. Even though it was made in 2003 and events have gone futher, nothing can take away anything from Batman: Dead End, a fan film by Sandy Corrolla. Great feel. Truly batman-ish and so totally Gotham. And in just 8 minutes. Shot in four days on a $30,000 budget, B:DE packs in Batman (duh!), Joker, Alien (yes!) and Predator (yes! yes!). How will puritanical Batman fans take it? But ok. Let a man have his fun. And if Collora's words are to be believed (which we must) even Alex Ross said something to the effect of 'best batman movie'. After all, it's a fan making a movie. Not money milking movie studios. What you waiting for? Here it is. Watch it now! Just hit play below.

A Dic-K's tale

The DIC(K) is made up of what was once a part of CONgress. Then Grand Old Man decided to take castrate CONgress in God's Own Country and the DIC(K) came apart from the main body. A powerful organ was taken away from CONgress. CONgress thought, "I don't need DIC(K). I have had no balls anyway, that too for over 50 years. So what use is DIC(K)?". But...DICK(K) Head then realised that on it's own any DICK(K) can't do much, so started looking for friends. And as everybody knows, all DICK(K)s have close neighbours in the form of arseholes. So DICK(K) Head turned to areseholes. And two nuts, especially the left one. Also, DIC(K) started having performance problems. But then, soon, CONgress wanted DICK(K) back. CONgress and DIC(K) then flirted around. CONgress made statements like, "We are deliberating on what to do with DIC(K)." Then CONgress Owner, and Commander of the Ball-less Brigade, Red Sonja (Author of 'The Sari State of CONgress' and soon to be immortalised in SICKOphantic's book The fArt of Sacrifice) said she wants DIC(K). "Get me DIC(K)", she thunders. Hearing orders, CONgress starts sends feelers (many feeers) to DIC(K) Head. And DIC(K) likes being felt up. So many toddy kuppis and midnight masala sessions later, CONgress and DIC(K) decide to get together, with CONgress using DIC(K) to fuck more people. So that is how things stand. Or are erect. Await further developments. Till then, DIC(K) is safe in the hands of the CONgress.

Speaking of inners

Those who live in glasshouses should not change their clothes with their lights on. Unfortunately, the Congress Party, I mean, Sonia ‘NRI’ Gandhi seems not to have known about this. Which is why they’re in the state they’re in. At a time when parallels were being drawn with the Emergency Days, and left with no choice but to resign, she did what she had to resign. But still saying “sacrifice”. And the definitions of the word ‘martyr’ seem to be changing. Sonia, I mean the Congress Party, thinks us all a bunch of fools, which I guess we are. That’s it. For a nice take on Sonia, I mean, the Congress Party, no, I mean, Sonia, go to the communal cow as he goes about Deconstructing Sonia, with his trademark puns, neologism and spelling mistakes.

This is Inner Voice Ver2.0. Go, know more about the high falutin’ Inner Voice Ver1.0. And yes, NRI means Not Required Italian.

Mera Rang de Basanti…

During one of our many conversations, the Communal Cow made a very valid point. He is of the firm belief that all is lost on a generation that needs a popcorn entertainer to tell them about their heroes, their history and those who came before us. To paraphrase him, a generation that needs aids such as this to rekindle their pride is doomed and is useless. Which is why he has come up with his own version of Rang De Basanti’s byline, “A generation weakens” he says. I think I quite agree. But that’s not to take away anything from the movie and Mehra’s efforts. We do what we feel should be done. But at least the Communal Cow got the point that the movie was trying to make. Which brings us to the point of this post. And it’s not a review (there’s enough of them already), but merely an attempt to clarify certain aspects of the movie, considering how many people have fallen for the red herrings, so to speak. So let us try and clear the fog about this masaledaar hindi movie that has all of us talking.

Is RDB about crashing MIGs? Is it about our brave pilots who lay down their lives while piloting those flying coffins? Yes, some would say. “Did you not see the last slide that came on before the credits started rolling? It said that the movie is in honour of our brave pilots.” They will tell you. And it’s at this point that we need to understand that at the end of the day, RDB is a film, a movie. And all good movies have something that is known as a ‘plot device’ which is simply put, a thing/concept/person brought into the narrative to influence/ advance the plot of the movie. Now this MIG plot device (in the context of the movie) could have been anything else. It could have been a train accident, an innocent victim caught in a smuggling racket, a viruddh-type justice denied angle or even a clichéd gangster thingy. That’s the point. These are all clichés. And would these alternatives have grabbed your attention as much as the MIG angle did? Think not. Any film maker, even if it is Vikram Bhatt, will try to bring something new and unique into his movie, and with RDB the case would have been more so, and Mehra could not have chosen a better plot device. Also, by choosing this particular one, he has also managed to bring attention to the state of our air force’s planes and our pilots. But this specific thing is just peripheral to the point that RDB is trying to make. And yes, the last slide is just an afterthought (I think). Remember the rouble that RBD got into with the defence ministry? Most likely, it was just inserted there to calm the nerves of those in the ministry who (like the people who inspired this post) thought that Mehra is making fun of the Indian armed forces.

So getting back to our point, what this MIG plot device also helps do is take the story forward by linking the MIGs with the Defence Minister who is (quite intelligently) equated with Gen. Dyer. Now, here again many people think that this comparison calls for a total suspension of belief and is totally far fetched. Two things. Firstly, it’s not as farfetched as you would think. Instead of our enemies from outside, our enemies today are our own people. Think about it. And secondly, don’t forget that RDB is a masala movie, not a historical documentary. But it achieves more than a hundred other masala movies could.

Another objection that some people have raised is that through RDB, Mehra is telling us all to take up arms and go around killing politicians/other assorted termites in the system. No he’s not. But it wouldn’t be such a bad thing now, would it? Anyway, if you see the movie, and listen carefully, the answer is right there. Join the IAS. Get into politics. Join the police force. Change the system. Ho many people will you kill? Kill the fault in the system, not the propagators. Again here, it should be pointed out, the assassination of the minister is just another plot device, albeit a truly farfetched one practically. But like Bhagat Singh himself said, “Jo ooncha sunte hain, unko sirf dhamake ki awaaz sunayideti hai…” Close enough, I guess. And this is exactly what RDB tries to do. Be an explosion that opens the eyes of at least some people. But at the end of the day, let us not forget, it’s just another bollywood movie starring Aamir Khan, with music by A.R.Rahman, and that the MIGs and the ministers are just plot devices.

Hinglish? You said...

This post was actually sparked off by a comment in response to Jugular Bean’s comment on the FORK OFF! post. Thought it should be pursued further and here is the result in this format:
Film name
Hindi song
English translation

Rishtey
Apna banana hai…
This is our banana…

Suraj
Bahaaron phool barsaao, mera mehboob aaya hai…
O spring, shower flowers, my beloved is a nanny (aaya)…

Yaara Dildaara
Bin tere sanam…
These bins are yours, darling…

China Town
Baar baar dekho, hazaar baar dekho…
Look at bar bar, look at a thousand bars…

Ijazat
Mera kuch saamaan tumhare paas pada hai...
Some of my saamaan is still with you…

Tezaab
So gay yeh jahaan…
This world is so gay…

Teesri Ankh
Chugg de punjabi…
Give me a chugg, you punjabi...

Rock Dancer
You are my chicken fry, you are my fish fry...
You are my chicken fry, you are my fish fry...

Raju Chacha
Tune mujhe pehchaana nahin...
The tune did not recognise me...

Yeh Mohabbat Hai
Bechain mera yeh dil hai…
This heart of mine is without chains…

Well. Guess that's enough for now. Please add to the list. Uuse comments box. Smile.

1 of only 4

If someone wears this limited edition t-shirt, is he homophobic? or is it just nascent xenophobia? Ah! But how it pleases me.

Beauty? What beauty?

For years, beauty pageants, have been going on. And forever they have been mired in controversy. The women’s rights organisations blame beauty pageants for ‘exploiting women’. While others have gone on record saying that events such as Miss India are nothing but skin shows. To all of which assorted organisers have come back with the same reply, “…not an exploitation of women. Don’t call it a beauty pageant, because intelligence also plays a big role in a [half-naked] woman winning a title…” So on and so forth. And wonder of wonders! This time the organisers of the Ponds Femina Miss India contest have actually stayed true to their words. They have gone beyond mere anatomy, bikinis and good make-up. Just take a look at the winners. They definitely don’t look like the winners of a ‘beauty’ pageant. Far from it. And no amount of make-up can save them it seems. Also, looks like reality TV has also taken its toll, and the winners who got the maximum votes got them from the congenitally blind.

Finally ‘inner beauty’ has been rewarded over shallow, skin-deep Maybelline/L’Oreal-enhanced external beauty. Has to be. There’s not much that’s externally beautiful about this year’s Miss India winners. But they ‘look’ intelligent. And if you’re thinking that intelligent women have to be necessarily unattractive, think again. Take a look at yash birla. So, has a new age dawned? Can we expect an IQ round at next year’s pageant? Will Mensa be a proud sponsor? Shall we see dissertations being presented? It’s too soon to tell. But a fine start has been made. On an a side note, hopefully next year’s bunch of ‘intelligent women’ will a lot more pleasing on the eye. After all, it is us poor folk who will soon (very soon) have to watch these crusaders against poverty and champions of the underprivileged in a hot-n-steamy bollywood item number.

the next best buy

Tracking down movies by one's favourite parallell cinema director is difficult enough. And next to impossible if that director happens to be HE of the HS films fame (yes, our old friend). Will soon get hold of his next classic. But till i see it and put up a detailed review/analysis, a synopsis of the film from the UltraIndia website will do. Go here. Split your sides.

PS: And for those of you philistines who do not know HS, it's Harinam Singh.

blast of the past

shot this at the gallery of the Cellular Jail. And like they say, a picture's worth a thousand words... especially if it includes a wordy description.