Thursday, January 25, 2007

of boners and bibles

After the amazingly hilariously juvenile fun we all derived from reading about Boners – or rather about Batman’s Greatest Boner in particular – it’s time to move on to more serious topics. Like this!And remember, don’t do drugs (oh yeah!?). Reality is much better. And rehab is for quitters.
Speaking of boners in the bibles, this bible storyteller is going down. Rot in hell you sacriligious dog!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

when a cat goes away....

births. deaths. relatives. work. car that gives way. work. a quiz. ah! weekends over the past couple or three months have been consistently thwarting all attempts at repopulating mine residence with cats. and to think that's its not hard at all, not when you have people like this on your side, but one of these days an expedition (yes, all things considered that is what it will be) must be mounted and cats procured.

And speaking of procuring cats brings one to this: the cat that's been the icon of theBekku turns out to be an official Kitler. Which means that for now, this Kitler will go away for a while and this one will be the official Bekku for a while:

and speaking of cats going away, those of you cat-people who've lost one will surely understand this

Saturday, January 13, 2007

garrrrhhhh!!! who the fyukh ever came up with that term post-modern/post-modernism?
garrrrhhhh!!! why the fyukh did he ever do that for it to be perverted so?
garrrrhhhh!!! what the fyukh does the term post-modern/post-modernism mean?
garrrrhhhh!!! why the fyukh do people use the word post-modern and all its various permutations and combinations to describe everything from books and music to comic strips and las vegas strippers?
i hate. Yes hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate the word "post-modern" even though I have no fyukhin’ clue what the hell it means. Or what it’s supposed to mean. Contexts notwithstanding. Because none of the times when it has been used in various conversations has it made sense to me. Because none of the people who used it in the abovementioned conversations have been able to tell me what it means and most not even what they want it to mean. There are a couple of guys who made an honest attempt (you know who you are!), but I still didn’t get it cos we kept going around in confused circles. I guess I’m just dumb. All apologies.

All one knows is that if you wanna look cool and hip and intelligent (or sound intelligent at least) and be considered ‘an intellect’ please pepper your conversations with words like ‘post-modern’ ‘post-modernism’ ‘post-modernist’, etc. etc. no matter what you’re talking about.
*spleen alert!* Almost running out of spleen to vent. And with the last reserves of venom I give you this : PoMo - the amazing Postmodernism Generator!!!! (do you know somebody who speaks like this? Sure you do.)
Reading which, kind of reminds one of a post on theBekku not so long ago.
So this post’s last quota of spleen goes into directing you to the Revenge of Natives.

now, why would you want to know this?

this post is for the benefit of those who like Kiedis, but whose e-mail ids/names have not been given and/or for the benefit those whose friends haven't gone on a honeymoon in a long time.

Used without the kind knowledge and/or permission of Mr. Anthony Kiedis. PS: There are some nice stories to go with these pics. go read.

thanks magaa

Mine friend, the Communal Cow, went on his “sponsored” honeymoon to Alleppey [the first of many, I’m sure!] and came back with these!!
Came back with these! For me!!!

currently tripping on Scar Tissue and crossed the part where two not-so greenhorn high school friends, a stoned Keidis and an equally stoned mike balzary (who would soon be known to the world as Flea), are jumping off buildings into random swimming pools. And the Red Hot Chili Peppers exist in the not-too-distant future. cool! Puppet Masters. Ah! What can one say about Heinlein what hasn’t already been said?

Sorry, no reviews. For either. Buy them, they’re worth it. Or just get your friend to go on his/her honeymoon. Hehehe….

Emerald Dog Poet - or - One thing leads to another

It’s funny when you look back into your life. And when the past rears its head up and you smile. You ask yourself, “was I like that?”. And you smile. For you know the answer. For you are the sum total of your existence. And that includes all the things, all the people that you were before. And are now. No regrets. You are what you were then. All phases included.

And why this now? Because this reared its head up: A poem (?) from mine past, circa 21-ish. Kinda dorky in an immature sort of way. I likes. For there is a story there.

And why did this rear its head up? Because i like inconsequential challenges. And thusly gave a shot at poetry after many years with this : A walk along the country lane : a poem by Poetess Sam a.k.a Samyukta.

And speaking of poetry or prose which garbs itself as poetry (or vice versa) brings back memories of the carefree times spent on various occasions in the cemetery, with the Criminally English and the Communal Cow and The Pillai who I don’t think has a linkable blog. The cemetery, where each took turns at writing one line of a story/poem as the case may be (wonder where those scraps of paper went?), in the august company of E.Obulesu (Army) and the Naidu family. Yes, they were six feet under us, but so what? Ah! My favourite cemetery spot in the whole wide world!!! Not including the burning ghats which I still prefer to cemeteries. Mine favourites so far being the Manikarnika in Banaras, and the one in Kathmandu near Pashupatinath. Now that topic is for another day.
subjectivity is the name of the game. objectivity, the cloak.
This is the reason why some songs should not be turned into videos.

Listen n enjoy. It's a good song. But open your eyes at your own risk. The images jar. *shudder*
Much gratitude to Viju "Ghazalmaster" Janardhanan for bringing this to mine notice.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Nature calls

The wild outdoors. Chilly nights by a campfire. Bloodsucking leeches. Great company. Great escapes. New friends. New scratches and bruises. Sweat and swearing. Memorable weekends. Stories of hunger, thirst and adventure. Anecdotes about the Forest Officers’ wives. Waking up to bird calls, and not ringtones. And of course, trekking, rock climbing & rappelling, mountaineering, rafting, parasailing and more. For less. You've always wanted it, yes? Well. Worry not! BaseCamp is here.

Yeh Pink Floyd saala hai kaun?

Or An Idiot’s Guide to Pink Floyd : theBekku exclusive! With the usual peregrinations into other related titbits of intelligent-sounding information and conversation points
Clearing some misconceptionsContrary to popular perception Pink Floyd did not die of a drug overdose. In fact, Pink Floyd’s not dead at all. It is to squash these rumours that Pink Floyd got his act together to perform last year at a circus organised to give aids to the people of Africa. Incidentally, the organiser of this carnival, Baba Geldof (not be confused with Baba Dylan, Baba Marley or Baba Ramdev), was for a while the ‘Pink’ in Pink Floyd. And then his shaved eyebrows grew back.

Also, contrary to another popular perception, Floyd is spelt F-L-O-Y-D not F-L-U-I-D, pink liquids, Roger’s Waters, and common nouns notwithstanding.

The various origins of Pink Floyd
Now let’s backtrack to when it all began. Inspired by various inspirations, Pink Floyd got his act together for the first time. It should be noted here that he was a student of architecture at this point of time. Which probably explains his later fascination with bricks, cement, walls and other things constructive. It should also be noted here that it has been suspected for a long time that The Wall (an animated cartoon movie, which also claims to be the world’s longest music video) is a tribute to Bangalore Boy Rahul Dravid. When contacted backstage during his concert in Bangalore regarding this fact, Pink Floyd just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s just not cricket.”

Pink Floyd: a “god of rock”
Interestingly, it was during the period preceding this aforementioned concert in Bangalore, that Pink Floyd was duly conferred with the title of “God of Rock”, a title which he (Pink Floyd) shares with such luminous luminaries – as Bryan Adams, Uriah Heep, Mick Jagger a.k.a. The Rolling Stones, Inner Circle, MC Hammer, That smoke-on-the-Waters band (no relation to Roger’s Waters), The Winds of Change Band, and many others – and guess what? Some of whom were actually rock musicians! Or musicians for that matter. This is in keeping with an old Bangalore tradition of calling people “God of Rock” when they decide to perform in Bangalore as part of their Pension Fund Tour or The Where-Can-I-Find-Suckers-Who-Still-Listen-To-Me –And-Will-Pay-To-Listen-To-Me Tour. It has been surmised that this custom probably began when Queen Shantala conferred on Amarashilpi Jakannacharya the title “God of Rock.” Go figure. In other newses, other “Gods of Rock” who are rumoured to be on their way to Bangalore include Skid Row, Tears for Fears, Milli Vanilli, and Kevin Federline.

The various origins of Pink Floyd (coda)
Oh! Coming back to Pink. Before officially printing his name on sleeves (of albums) as ‘Pink Floyd’, Pink Floyd when around pubs and clubs of London under various names which were as varied as Six Sigma (from where the measure of quality gets its name), Mega Death (in tribute to his favourite thrash band with an ‘a’ added to avoid copyright issues) and the word Abdabs with many prefixes and suffixes. Pink Floyd (for one final time before he became Pink Floyd) went by the name of The Tea Set (a fact commemorated in the song ‘a saucer full of cigarettes’).

Then finally, he settled upon a name by which we know him today. The ‘Pink’ part came from a Black guy who was into Blues and went by the name of Pink Anderson of Chicago. The second part ‘Floyd’ came either from his lawyer, Counsellor Floyd or from a member of the local administration called Floyd the Councillor – depending on whom you ask, Pink fans who pretend to smoke weed and Floyd fans who visit pubs that play music from all three of his albums or quizzing aficionados who don’t listen to Pink Floyd but who know everything there is to know about Pink Floyd, and then some.

The Hits just kept on coming
For a band with all of just four “official” releases (not including Rwandan bootlegs) Pink Floyd has delivered a surprisingly large number of profitable hits, some of which some people have actually claimed to know the lyrics of. First there was the breakthrough album called “The Other Side of the Moon or something like that” (in the words of an informed music store sales man) an album that gave the world such hits as ‘Time’ and ‘Money’. Another famous song is The Bell Song from some other album. Not the Man on Fire album though, which is supposedly a tribute to some dead guy who was in the jewellery business and went by the name of Crazy Diamond. There was also that monster hit called “The Bell Song”.

Pink Floyd: The Influences of Popular Culture (and Unpopular Culture as well)Were it not for Pink Floyd, we would today not have a book called “Animal Farm” by Orson Welles, the same guy who wrote the screenplay for War of the Worlds starring the ‘Tom’ in TomKat. The inspiration for Animal Farm apparently came from a Pink Floyd album called Flying Pigs. Pink Floyd has sometimes been very controversial, for instance, that monster hit with a chorus that went “We don’t need no birth control!”

Pink Floyd is also credited with having invented the genre of rock called ‘Space Rock’ ‘Psychedelic Rock’ ‘Progressive Rock’, among others. Some people have also claimed that he invented ‘Dance Rock’ when he released A Collection of Great Dance Songs – a compilation album of great dance songs (duh!) that misled many critics into calling Pink Floyd as having laid the groundwork for the genre of Disco Metal.

Of course, no mention of Pink Floyd would be complete without a mention of his albums’ covers. Pink Floyd pioneered the method of art through hypnosis. Leading to some great albums covers. Great album covers eh?

The sociological impact of Pink Floyd is legendary. Research has shown that the mere mention of Pink Floyd in a conversation raises the Perceived IQ of the speaker by almost 48 points. This is rivalled only by a mention of Bob Dylan: 53.5 points. Of course if you’re a little older, desperate and are gunning for anything that will do, you might want to try Grateful Dead. If the girl's just out of her teens and a manic depressive try Nirvana.

Be cool. Be hot. Become a Pink Floyd Fan today!
Now that you know more or less how much you need to know be known as a person who knows Pink Floyd, why not become a fan today? The last person who claimed to be a Pink Floyd fan hooked himself a hot date. Plus, Pink Floyd is supposedly a good man to listen to when you’re stoned (as evidenced by the previous boyfriend of the friend of my ex-girlfriend). Rock is good when stoned, or something to that effect.
So there you go, almost everything you wanted to know about Pink Floyd, but were too scared to ask. But remember! To come across as a True Fan, remember to say "Floyd" as in *shake of head* "Yeah, i listen to floyd." Saying "Pink is a good band" could lead to potentially disastorous results and the loss of a hot date.

(theBekku lays no claims to originality of any of the ideas and information presented above. This guide would not have been possible without the help of various people through the ages. Thank yer all for yer valuable nuggets. Of course, the mistakes and rambles are all mine.)

Thursday, January 04, 2007

blather aborted....

theBekku must needs learn the art of brevity. But once a random rambler, always a random rambler, one guesses. For theBekku had a nice, long, lengthy and carefully composed post – about travels and travails over a hectic few days – just headed from ‘draft’ status to ‘published’. Until the Eyyala, regular partner in crime & punishment, onion aficionado, butter-lover and general good fun, came along and killed the post in one stroke. For he wrote me something that I can never match. This is what he messaged me.

“2195 kms. 74 hours. 17 locations. 2 states. 2 great guys. People would call it madness…we call it Life.”

You can’t beat that, can you? i can’t. And yes, truth be told, i can claim only a portion of the above stats. i bailed. and for one, i never did keep count.