Yeh Pink Floyd saala hai kaun?

Or An Idiot’s Guide to Pink Floyd : theBekku exclusive! With the usual peregrinations into other related titbits of intelligent-sounding information and conversation points

Clearing some misconceptionsContrary to popular perception Pink Floyd did not die of a drug overdose. In fact, Pink Floyd’s not dead at all. It is to squash these rumours that Pink Floyd got his act together to perform last year at a circus organised to give aids to the people of Africa. Incidentally, the organiser of this carnival, Baba Geldof (not be confused with Baba Dylan, Baba Marley or Baba Ramdev), was for a while the ‘Pink’ in Pink Floyd. And then his shaved eyebrows grew back.

Also, contrary to another popular perception, Floyd is spelt F-L-O-Y-D not F-L-U-I-D, pink liquids, Roger’s Waters, and common nouns notwithstanding.

The various origins of Pink Floyd
Now let’s backtrack to when it all began. Inspired by various inspirations, Pink Floyd got his act together for the first time. It should be noted here that he was a student of architecture at this point of time. Which probably explains his later fascination with bricks, cement, walls and other things constructive. It should also be noted here that it has been suspected for a long time that The Wall (an animated cartoon movie, which also claims to be the world’s longest music video) is a tribute to Bangalore Boy Rahul Dravid. When contacted backstage during his concert in Bangalore regarding this fact, Pink Floyd just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s just not cricket.”

Pink Floyd: a “god of rock”
Interestingly, it was during the period preceding this aforementioned concert in Bangalore, that Pink Floyd was duly conferred with the title of “God of Rock”, a title which he (Pink Floyd) shares with such luminous luminaries – as Bryan Adams, Uriah Heep, Mick Jagger a.k.a. The Rolling Stones, Inner Circle, MC Hammer, That smoke-on-the-Waters band (no relation to Roger’s Waters), The Winds of Change Band, and many others – and guess what? Some of whom were actually rock musicians! Or musicians for that matter. This is in keeping with an old Bangalore tradition of calling people “God of Rock” when they decide to perform in Bangalore as part of their Pension Fund Tour or The Where-Can-I-Find-Suckers-Who-Still-Listen-To-Me –And-Will-Pay-To-Listen-To-Me Tour. It has been surmised that this custom probably began when Queen Shantala conferred on Amarashilpi Jakannacharya the title “God of Rock.” Go figure. In other newses, other “Gods of Rock” who are rumoured to be on their way to Bangalore include Skid Row, Tears for Fears, Milli Vanilli, and Kevin Federline.

The various origins of Pink Floyd (coda)
Oh! Coming back to Pink. Before officially printing his name on sleeves (of albums) as ‘Pink Floyd’, Pink Floyd when around pubs and clubs of London under various names which were as varied as Six Sigma (from where the measure of quality gets its name), Mega Death (in tribute to his favourite thrash band with an ‘a’ added to avoid copyright issues) and the word Abdabs with many prefixes and suffixes. Pink Floyd (for one final time before he became Pink Floyd) went by the name of The Tea Set (a fact commemorated in the song ‘a saucer full of cigarettes’).

Then finally, he settled upon a name by which we know him today. The ‘Pink’ part came from a Black guy who was into Blues and went by the name of Pink Anderson of Chicago. The second part ‘Floyd’ came either from his lawyer, Counsellor Floyd or from a member of the local administration called Floyd the Councillor – depending on whom you ask, Pink fans who pretend to smoke weed and Floyd fans who visit pubs that play music from all three of his albums or quizzing aficionados who don’t listen to Pink Floyd but who know everything there is to know about Pink Floyd, and then some.

The Hits just kept on coming
For a band with all of just four “official” releases (not including Rwandan bootlegs) Pink Floyd has delivered a surprisingly large number of profitable hits, some of which some people have actually claimed to know the lyrics of. First there was the breakthrough album called “The Other Side of the Moon or something like that” (in the words of an informed music store sales man) an album that gave the world such hits as ‘Time’ and ‘Money’. Another famous song is The Bell Song from some other album. Not the Man on Fire album though, which is supposedly a tribute to some dead guy who was in the jewellery business and went by the name of Crazy Diamond. There was also that monster hit called “The Bell Song”.

Pink Floyd: The Influences of Popular Culture (and Unpopular Culture as well)Were it not for Pink Floyd, we would today not have a book called “Animal Farm” by Orson Welles, the same guy who wrote the screenplay for War of the Worlds starring the ‘Tom’ in TomKat. The inspiration for Animal Farm apparently came from a Pink Floyd album called Flying Pigs. Pink Floyd has sometimes been very controversial, for instance, that monster hit with a chorus that went “We don’t need no birth control!”

Pink Floyd is also credited with having invented the genre of rock called ‘Space Rock’ ‘Psychedelic Rock’ ‘Progressive Rock’, among others. Some people have also claimed that he invented ‘Dance Rock’ when he released A Collection of Great Dance Songs – a compilation album of great dance songs (duh!) that misled many critics into calling Pink Floyd as having laid the groundwork for the genre of Disco Metal.

Of course, no mention of Pink Floyd would be complete without a mention of his albums’ covers. Pink Floyd pioneered the method of art through hypnosis. Leading to some great albums covers. Great album covers eh?

The sociological impact of Pink Floyd is legendary. Research has shown that the mere mention of Pink Floyd in a conversation raises the Perceived IQ of the speaker by almost 48 points. This is rivalled only by a mention of Bob Dylan: 53.5 points. Of course if you’re a little older, desperate and are gunning for anything that will do, you might want to try Grateful Dead. If the girl's just out of her teens and a manic depressive try Nirvana.

Be cool. Be hot. Become a Pink Floyd Fan today!
Now that you know more or less how much you need to know be known as a person who knows Pink Floyd, why not become a fan today? The last person who claimed to be a Pink Floyd fan hooked himself a hot date. Plus, Pink Floyd is supposedly a good man to listen to when you’re stoned (as evidenced by the previous boyfriend of the friend of my ex-girlfriend). Rock is good when stoned, or something to that effect.

So there you go, almost everything you wanted to know about Pink Floyd, but were too scared to ask. But remember! To come across as a True Fan, remember to say "Floyd" as in *shake of head* "Yeah, i listen to floyd." Saying "Pink is a good band" could lead to potentially disastorous results and the loss of a hot date.

(theBekku lays no claims to originality of any of the ideas and information presented above. This guide would not have been possible without the help of various people through the ages. Thank yer all for yer valuable nuggets. Of course, the mistakes and rambles are all mine.)