Like Mary said, “Come again?”

To “you” who opposes the release of just another movie. I will repeat myself, in the briefest way possible.

Da Vinci Code the movie may be delayed, and most likely never see the light of day in India. But don’t you realise that by opposing it, you are just drawing attention to the movie? It’s a work of historical fiction, dammit! The Eyyala in return wonders if the Vatican controls the country through St.Sonja. You would do good to look up Karunaidhi’s oft quoted expansion of the acronym AICC. Now coming back to the issue at stake, it’s just another viewpoint dammit. 40 million people have already read the book as per published figures. That does not includes the millions and millions more who have read it in pirated copies and through PDFs circulated worldwide. How much more damage, if any, can the movie do?

Also, under the guise of being secular, you are just acting so damn orthodox and ultra-conservative, not to mention insecure. The notion/theory that Jesus married Mary Magdalene is not anything new. It has been around for ages, centuries even before Holy Blood, Holy Grail or the Templar Revelation or even The Da Vinci Code came out. Ha! How long do you think it is before Holger Kersten’s Jesus Lived in India catches the world’s imagination? How long before the publishers of Prof. Hassnain’s A Search for the Historical Jesus realise that they can capitalise on this controversy you have created yourself. Or for that matter The Second Messiah or Freke & Gandy’s Jesus and the Goddess. Imagine John Allegro’s publisher bringing his book into the spotlight again. And you know what the book says? Let me summarise it for you in one sentence – Jesus was a magic mushroom.

You say The Da Vinci Code will tarnish the the religion’s image? Wake up! Nobody could or can tarnish the religion’s image any more than you yourself and your predecessors have done. The countless genocides, the complete destruction of many cultures, forced conversions, through the centuries, across the world. All in the name of Christ who preached love. Do you honestly think that this did or does credit to your religion? To Jesus the Christ. And you say a movie will “tarnish” the image! Sir, if you truly believe that just a piddly movie can tarnish your religion's image, I don’t think you have too high an image of your religion in your own head.

Theologically speaking, you have put one too many eggs in a none-too-big box. And what is happening now is just the logical flow of history. And it will continue. Of course with the collective IQ of the world falling, may be not. Maybe your numbers will increase. All the best. Go man, read Baigent’s The Jesus Papers, that does more damage than a well-written pulp book like Da Vinci code can ever can.

Tell me, do you honestly think that a true Christian will stop being a Christian once he sees this movie? No, you say. Then why do you bother? Oh! I forgot, you need numbers, not believers or true followers. Is that the case?

Let me ask you this? Is the firm belief in Christ’s celibacy / single-man status a prerequisite for me to believe that he was The Son of God? Does the fact that he was married take away anything at all from what he said in The Sermon on the Mount? Think not. Yes, you may have some cause for concern say if somebody came out and said “Hey look at me, I am the descendant of the person who sprung from Jesus’ loins.” a la the Princes Anastasia case.

So let the movie release with all its fanfare. Don’t worry. The Christ you hold in your heart will still be the same. The Christ that you so adore will not change. Believe in your delusions, but don’t get in the way. Please. We need our mindless entertainment, thank you.

Hah! But in the end, all I can say is “Oh Lord! Protect me from your followers.”